


i fill the scattered you, so i could see how beautiful you are

by hellcats



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Cuddling, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Lots of Cuddling, kisses on the nose, rina is insecure of how she looks and sakusa won't have it, soft feels uwu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:16:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22944646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellcats/pseuds/hellcats
Summary: you wanna hurt yourself i'll stay with youyou wanna make yourself go through the pain- the rose
Relationships: Sakusa Kiyoomi/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	i fill the scattered you, so i could see how beautiful you are

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fainthickeys](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fainthickeys/gifts).



> this was made because a friend of mine made a self-deprecating tweet a few days ago and i want to convince her that there is nothing wrong with her :)

The sun wasn't even out yet when the alarm on Sakusa's phones starts ringing, startling the light sleeper and waking him up from his sleep. It's Sunday, why did he even set up an alarm for Sundays? Usually at times like these, he would consider chucking his phone out of the window - or, the less aggressive option, to violently hit the snooze button on the alarm - and goes back to spooning his girlfriend, seeking the warmth only another human body can provide at this hour. But as he reaches out to his lover's side of the bed after killing the aggravating alarm, the warmth he is searching for isn't there, instead the bed was cold, as if nobody had been laying there in the first place. 

Which is weird, considering how much his girlfriend hates mornings, especially cold ones like these. 

Sakusa could go back to sleep now, probably she is out in the living room, couldn't sleep after waking up too early, or maybe she is in the toilet, or some other mundane things she could be doing at 5am. But his girlfriend _had_ been acting weird these past few days, she was, dare he say, a little distant at times even when they were together, and the little time they have with each other given both of their busy schedules doesn't help at all. She is restless, that much is obvious, but Sakusa had always been bad at reading people and understanding how they are feeling without asking, and just because they have been dating for a while and living with each other now, it still doesn't erase the fact that the man had never been good at human interaction, so while he has a few clues to what could possibly be bothering his lover, he does not know the best way to ask her about it.

Humans are different than volleyball matches, it is hard to assess and analyze them because they are not always honest with their feelings. Although Sakusa doesn't understand the need to mask one's feelings and thoughts instead of just being blunt, he understands that people are just different from one another, and that his logic, although superior, does not to apply to everyone else. And it obviously does not apply to his girlfriend. Had it been anyone else, he would have just approached them the usual Sakusa Kiyoomi way, blunt and honest. But this isn't anyone else, this is his girlfriend, and he doesn't want to be insensitive about the things that are troubling her, no matter how little of importance it may be. 

Suddenly he is not that sleepy anymore. 

The morning is freezing, chilling him to the very bones, and Sakusa was grateful that he put on socks before he went to sleep, or else his toes would have been icy cold now. Slowly opening the door of their room, he can see the lights from the TV in the living room is on, illuminating a silhouette cocooned in a lump of blankets, wild tuft of black hair poking out of the pile. As he stepped closer he realizes his girlfriend had been studying, a thick textbook laying open in the middle of the coffee table, highlighters and a bunch of papers strewn across it, a worryingly large mug of coffee and a clearly inebriated dental student in front of the TV, still diligently writing on her notebook. 

"Rina," 

Sakusa quietly made his presence known, hand going straight to the wild strands of hair framing his girlfriend's face. "Why are you up?" 

His voice is gentle as he speaks, taking note of the girl's helpless appearance. There were dark circles under her eyes, and she looked so tired but why is she not resting? 

"Exam tomorrow, can't sleep," 

"Tomorrow or today?"

Rina's hands stopped, thinking for a while, sleep deprived brain having a hard time processing what the date of today is, let alone the actual day of her exams. "Um, what's the date?" Sakusa chuckles, kissing her left cheek softly. "It's the 27th, your exam is on the 28th. It's still Sunday. You're way too over-prepared, baby," Rina melts into her boyfriend's touch, the usage of the pet name easing a little bit of the stress building up inside of her. 

"Come on, get back to bed,"

"But your morning run," 

Being an athlete, and a valuable one at that for his college team, Sakusa need to condition his body everyday, which is why he has an alarm set even on a Sunday. He has set aside one hour in the morning for his everyday run in order to maintain his stamina and he tries to adhere to the discipline without fail. 

"I'll do it when we wake up later. Come on. Leave this, I'll clean it up later too," 

Pulling the girl on her feet, it's obvious how tired and not in the right state of mind Rina is in right now, her weight fully supported by Sakusa as they waddle back to their bedroom. "You always overestimate yourself," Sakusa says, to which Rina didn't reply. He glances at his girlfriend, since usually even when the girl is outright drunk or tired out of her mind, she would always have a retort at the ready for his snarky boyfriend. 

_"That's why you and Rina-chan are perfect for each other, Omi-kun,"_

He remembered what his obnoxious teammate had said about the two of them when Rina came to one of their matches, purposely being disagreeable in front of his teammates to tease him. At that time, he had hoped for Atsumu to close his mouth shut because he is the last person Sakusa wants to be talking about his relationship, but thinking back now, he had been right. Their banters are the reason why their relationship is so lively, even when Sakusa doesn't really talk so much. Maybe that is why recently their apartment had felt a little bit too quiet for his taste. 

As they settle back under the warm duvet, the tall man snakes his arms around his girlfriend's waist, pulling her close to his chest. He frowns. 

It's not like Rina is pushing him away or whatever, but if it is the usual, she would have returned the favor and curl in on him, her hands clutching into Sakusa's shirt or tangled in his black curls. Now, she is just letting Sakusa hug him, and she is just... laying there. 

_Something is definitely wrong._

He thinks. 

And so Sakusa made it his own personal mission to find out what is is before they go to back to bed tonight, he thinks, as he drifts off to sleep. 

He ended up waking up two hours later, just a little past 7 am, and is glad to see Rina still asleep, covered under their duvet. His run today is a little less peaceful than usual, having left his apartment complex around the same time other people who also uses his jogging route does, and thus bumping into other joggers and people who are walking their dogs, but it was not too bad to the point that it bothered him. When he returned and poked his head into the bedroom, his girlfriend was already awake, well, half awake. She is still lying on their bed, scrolling sleepily through her phone when she spotted Sakusa. 

"Morning,"

"G'morning," 

"Do you want pancakes for breakfast?" 

"Can we have waffles?" Sakusa will have to search for their waffle maker somewhere under the sink where they had stashed it away the last time they used it, and a little bit of cleaning will need to be done because it had been some time since they used it. But Rina's bad days are few and far in between, what is a little cleaning if it can make her feel better? "Of course," 

"With chocolate syrup because maple syrup sucks?" 

Sakusa makes a face at this. "You have the palate of a child," 

"Um, your taste just sucks," she sticks out a tongue at him, and he cant help but rolls his eyes at Rina's antics. "Go wash your face, and brush your teeth," 

"But if I'm having orange juice after I brush my teeth it'll taste yucky," 

"Then I just won't make orange juice for you," 

The girl pulled a face and opens her mouth to complain, but Sakusa was already closing the door between them and head to shower, a smile on his lips. Finally, it feels back to normal a little bit. 

Since it was a Sunday there was nothing much to do in the morning post-breakfast, before Sakusa's daily volleyball practice in the afternoon, so they were just dawdling in the living room, pressed next to each other as each tend to their own business. Mornings like these are what made Sakusa feels like he could stay forever with the love of his life. They didn't have to do anything, just be with each other and it just... feels right. Rina is not demanding in the relationship. More like, she wants the same thing from Sakusa the same way Sakusa wants from her. She understood Sakusa's busy schedules and priorities and never fuss about how she gets lonely when he is busy with volleyball practice and demands for attention. Rina is understanding, and patient, and Sakusa absolutely loves that about her. He is not someone who thinks with his heart nor does he get overly emotional, but all of a sudden he feels like he can spend the rest of his life with this girl next to him, if she wants to. 

He was just monitoring his and his teammates' play in their last game from his laptop, and from the corner of his eye he can see his girlfriend's Twitter profile. Rina is a complete otaku, and Sakusa had been horrified when he found out that she is very into boys' love genre, even more horrified when she had shown him a particularly erotic and too graphic fan art one time when he asked her why she loved the genre so much. He is quite amused at her fascination in the genre and peeked to see if she is up to no good again on her Twitter, when he sees something that made him frown. 

Instead of the usual keyboard smashing and thirst tweets - most times it's about one of the many anime boys that had caught her eye, occasionally though, they are about him - she was typing a rather deprecating tweet. 

** valerio pls break my neck**

** @sunkissedshar**

** my nose is so fucking ugly **

_ Hold up, what the fuck? _

Sakusa didn't say anything directly, he knows that if Rina is taking it to her fan account to self-deprecate, she surely wouldn't appreciate it if he tries to talk to her about it now.  But how can she say such things about herself? Sakusa thinks as he stares down at his girlfriend's side profile, admiring the gentle slope of her nose, the cute little nose piercing she has despite Sakusa not being a fan of any kind of body piercing at all before he met Rina, her slanted eyes that twinkles every time she has something mischievous up in her sleeves, those cheeks that has become the frequent victim of Sakusa Kiyoomi's lips, and of course, her lips. Something that the man can never get enough of. 

He suddenly has the urge to pull her close to him. 

And that is what he did, surprising the girl so much that her phone was almost knocked out of her hands as her body falls on top of her boyfriend. 

"Kiyoomi," Rina says, a smile etched on her lips. "Just what are you doing?"   


Sakusa didn't answer, just plays with her hair and lets his hand linger on her face. Rina folds her hands on top of Sakusa's solid chest, staring at her boyfriend with a blush adorning her cheeks. Even after quite a long time of them dating, she still blushes whenever they get a little intimate like this, and Sakusa never knew he can feel things so strongly like this, but a wave of adoration and love washes over him when he looks at Rina from such a close distance like this. 

"You're so beautiful you know that?" 

A look of surprise flits across her face, before it is replaced with confusion, and eventually, embarrassment. Sakusa took this moment of weakness and flips their position on the couch, now caging in Rina's smaller body underneath him. The girl giggles, a light bubbly laugh easily making its way out of her throat. "What has gotten into you today, Kiyoomi?" 

"Nothing. You're just, so fucking beautiful," He says as he peppers her face with light kisses. "Every part of you," 

His long fingers carding through Rina's dark hair, the gentle movement soothing her nerves. "Your mind," He kisses her forehead, gently pressing his lips against her cool skin. "Your wit," Sakusa presses another kiss, this time on her left jaw, close to her ears where it's slightly more sensitive than the rest of her body. He presses his face closer to her neck, inhaling her scent. "Love how you smell," Bringing back his face into view, he stares into Rina's eyes, black eyes piercing into dark brown ones. "Everything about you," 

Pressing a lingering kiss on her nose, this time a little longer than the previous kisses. 

"Even the parts you don't really like," 

Rina stares at Sakusa, looking for an answer, and Sakusa knows the moment she found it when realization was written on her face. She averts his eyes away, embarrassed that her lover had caught what had made her a little disconcerted the past few days. "You saw," 

"Mhm," 

Sakusa only hums, and dives back down to continue peppering Rina with kisses. "It's okay if you hate them, cuz I don't. I don't care if you think they're not pretty, because to me they are. Every part of you are," 

Sakusa repeats again, and Rina can feel tears welling up in her ears. It is a little overwhelming, to have someone tell you how much they love you, and how much you mean to them. It opens up a floodgate of emotions that she never knew she had in her all these time. Sakusa didn't say anything when he saw the tears forming in her eyes, only lightly brushing them away, and leans down to kiss the span of the skin that had been marred by tears. 

Rina places both of her hands on the sides of Sakusa's face, pulling it away from her face so she can look into his eyes. 

"I love you," 

Sakusa looks down, fingers fondly tracing the lines of her lips, memorizing every curve, every nook and angles of her face, imprinting them in his mind so he can always remember this face, this moment. "I love you too," 

As their lips touch, Rina can't help but feel really, really grateful for how things had turned out to be for her. The stress of dealing with her exams had really been making her overthink things, and on one of those lonely nights where Sakusa is away for a game and she had to spend time alone with her thoughts, had proven to have taken a toll on her and on her insecurities. Really, it was just overthinking on her part, but she had been blessed by a lover who is observant enough to notice the changes in her, and who had been patient enough to deal with her and her negative thoughts. 

"You're going to be late to your practice," 

Rina says, as Sakusa shows no signs of stopping his display of affection and skinship. "It's alright, they can deal for a day without me. My girlfriend needs me today," 

It would require a huge deal of apologizing to his teammates and coach for bailing on them, but it is only a normal practice, and Sakusa had been diligent in his trainings up until now, surely he can afford to slack off this one time, right? And it's for the love of his life, who had always been so understanding and patient with him, who had never asked for anything that could even slightly inconvenient him, whom he treasures a lot. 

Carefully falling on the couch next to her, Sakusa stares back down at Rina one last time, at the beautiful smile she is showing only to him, at the way the sunlight trickling in from the half-opened blinds is dancing on her skin, at the way her warmth bleeds into the morning's chilly air, and commits it to his memory. 

No matter how much this girl is going to hurt him in the future, he will love her. No matter how much she thinks she is undeserving of his love, he will love her. No matter how much she _hurts herself,_ clawing at her and making herself bleed, he will be here, to love her. 

This is the face of the person he loves, this is the image he will wake up to every morning, this is the girl he is going to marry someday. 

God, Sakusa fucking loves her. 


End file.
